We hear it all the time from our family, friends, and peers. What are your goals? Did you succeed? Even better, what about their reactions to our answers. “Whoa, that’s quite ambitious of you,” and in doing so, planting the seed of doubt that our eyes might be bigger than our stomach.
What’s less discussed is the trend-setting element that is quite prevalent in our endeavors. While my thesis is the necessity of both, my aim is to bring more thoughtfulness to the trend setting dynamic. Most importantly, your ability to better understand these approaches can be leveraged to bring you success.
Pros of Goal Setting
If you’re guilty of perusing the ‘self-help’ section of your library or bookstore, you might be familiar with the SMART acronym as it applies to goal setting.
S - specific
M - measurable
A - attainable
R - realistic
T - timely
While I like specific, measurable, and timely - - I’m not too fond of ‘attainable’ and ‘realistic.’ Definitionally speaking, a goal is something we want to do tomorrow we cannot do today. The calculus on what is ‘attainable’ or ‘realistic’ is too subjective for me.
I prefer an approach the military taught me, Plan of Action & Milestones (POA&M). Dump the subjectivity on what you think is attainable and realistic and spend more soul-searching on your passion and desire. If you’re convicted in one direction or another, build a plan on your respective timeline that helps you develop the traits needed to succeed in that goal.
As a sophomore at the Naval Academy, I wanted to become a Navy SEAL. Consideration of my bird-like cross country frame paired with a relative ignorance on weapons, let alone my comfortable suburbia upbringing would’ve failed the sniff-test on ‘attainable’ and ‘realistic’. Rather, I first did the soul-searching on what I desired. Once that decision was made, I committed to a plan to get stronger on a specific timeline. I recognized while my outcome was unknown, the journey was worth it.
Cons of Goal Setting
While the benefits of goal setting are profound and often encouraged, it’s important to beware of the risks that exist. We’ve seen it before. People get lost in their pursuits where it not only becomes all-consuming, but also pits the individual against their previously held values. This is the hypothetical where one “succeeds at all costs.”
From the beginning of time, it’s natural to pursue a better life for one’s family. Presently, that is commonly equated to earning more income. While there’s nothing wrong with this pursuit, there’s potentially an inherent cancer that accompanies it. I call it, “the cancer of more.” In this hypothetical, there’s no ceiling to ‘more’. People run the risk getting swept up in their pursuit of ‘more’ without policing where that pursuit can erode other priorities in their life - - arguably more important priorities to include health, family, or their integrity. Without a healthy self-awareness, one runs the risk of a well-intentioned goal catalyzing their downfall.
Pros of Trend Setting
Personally, this is my favorite dynamic in life. The non-specific approach that has no timeline. That space in one’s life where they simply commit to betterment. It could be in your academic pursuits, professional life, athletic endeavors, or your overall health and fitness. The beauty of your boundless potential is one of the most pure and gratifying mysteries in our life’s journey.
When I was dating my now wife, her diet rhymed with Diet Coke and cigarettes. Meanwhile, her fitness routine was non-existent. At that time, I was on a SEAL platoon and my routine painted quite a different picture. On her own accord, she started a trend of changing some things. She started eating healthier and walking a 1.5-mile loop around the neighborhood for exercise. In time, that walk turned into a combination of a walk-jog. I remember her excitement the first time she told me, “I jogged the entire way!”
15 years later, I recently had the joy of cheering her on as she competed in one of the largest CrossFit competitions in the state. She did not just show up, she helped lead her team to a top-ten finish against 60 other impressive squads. We exercise together at our local CrossFit gym, and the trainer will often cheer me on, encouraging me to push a little more that I might beat her. While it happens on occasion, my pride is bruised to admit - - it’s VERY rare.
She never set out to get to the level she’s at. She simply showed up daily, maintained a good attitude, and gave her best.
Cons of Trend Setting
There are occasions where betterment simply doesn’t cut it. I’d offer this is the most common excuse or general cop-out I’ve seen with folks. In short, there is a commitment to betterment when the objective is quite binary relative to the needed outcome.
For example, in my profession as a financial advisor, there are several licensing exams I must pass. On one test, I came up with a routine to study and prep. Alternatively, I could have established some firm metrics that triggered a level of preparation required prior to attempting the exam. Not surprisingly, I failed my first attempt. In response to that, I immediately committed to a new preparation program with firm metrics, including an in-person study class on the other side of the state, necessitating a few nights in a hotel. On the second go around, I passed.
The point here is a bit harsh. People tend to justify their shortcomings with a story on how much effort was put forth. Anything short of the level required is planning to fail.
Conclusion
Maximizing your performance in any space will involve a combination of both goals and trends. To understand what you respond best to is more art than science. There’s no guide or personality survey to find a balance that works best for you. The ultimate teacher is an honest lookback of your experiences to accurately attribute why you landed on the outcome you did. Life experiences are finite, so don’t let fear keep you from entering the arena. Once you’ve made the leap, keep your integrity during the post-game analysis. While coaches and friends are a tremendously helpful resource, no one offers as much clarity as the mirror.
It is trends that move the needle for me. I focus on keeping my priorities in check, doing things right, and always give my best. Some close to me have offered at times my behavior looks like I’m jumping without a parachute - - the mirror tells me otherwise.
Authored by: Adam Weiner, Director
