Before his bout with Evander Holyfield, a reporter asked Mike Tyson if he was concerned about his opponent’s plan for the fight.  Mr. Tyson famously responded, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”  Everyone chuckled.  I chuckled and went about my business.  Then I got “punched in the mouth.”

I was in my second semester senior at the Air Force Academy. I was at the top of my game and the pinnacle of my fledgling career in the Air Force. I was a deputy group commander and it felt great; I reveled in my position and authority as the quintessential upholder of standards.

Things were going well until about halfway through that last semester, when my cadet group commander decided we should do a 360-degree evaluation. I thought it was an interesting idea and had no problem sitting in judgment of my peers. I measured cadet worthiness in terms of compliance with standards, and coldly evaluated my fellow cadets accordingly. The results of my evaluation came back a week later — and it was brutal. In short, the evaluation said that I was self-righteous and authoritarian, with a tendency to rely on my position to compel compliance.

Ouch.  Now what?

When confronted by such an assessment, a person basically has two choices: reject it, or accept it. After reflecting for a couple of days, I decided the assessment was accurate and that I did not want to be the kind of person or leader it described. A few days after that decision, we had a staff meeting. I sat silently until the end when my commander went around the room and asked if any of us had anything to share with the group.

I raised my hand, stood up, and with eyes cast down at the table, apologized to everyone in the room for my behavior up to that point and vowed to do better. Instead of ostracizing me, nearly every person in the room approached me privately to express support or to praise my courage for owning my mistakes. I began my journey to becoming a better person and leader that week. I occasionally lost my way, but I always found my way back on track. I am thankful I learned that lesson as a cadet so I didn’t inflict that horrible “leadership” style on any airmen.

Sure, Holyfield got punched in the mouth, but he ultimately won that fight.  I’d like to think that I’m still winning my fight but there are several rounds left and I don’t want to get cocky.  Don’t be afraid to get punched in the mouth.  If you’re out front leading the way you should, it’s going to happen sometime.  Learn from it and do better—your team is counting on you.

Authored By: Jason Lamb, Managing Director