“Perception is reality” is a useful cliché.  Factually speaking, our perception is not the arbitrator of reality.  In my opinion, this scientifically inaccurate cliché is functionally accurate.

In the space of effective communication, your ability to appreciate this dynamic is critical on both sides of the conversation.  It’s important to consider this element whether you’re a student listening or the professor lecturing.

While this might be understood in concept, it’s something people struggle with in practice.  In that vein, a few insights below with tips to help your communication.

“STUDENT”

1.     Consider your bias.

2.     Listening or crafting a response?

Consider your BIAS?

Bias is not inherently bad, it’s a perspective built on life experience.  Bias gets a bad name when used to justify indecent behavior.  Conversely, it also serves as a helpful guide.  For example, my ten-year old son thinks I’m wasting precious time when I tell him to measure twice and cut once.  My life experience has biased me that the extra time in measuring is worth minimizing the risk of another trip to the lumberyard.

If someone views all bias as negative, they might convince themselves they don’t have a bias.  This creates blind spots.  By appreciating where we sit with our natural bias, we are better suited to combat that bias in a way that allows us to listen more intently and ask questions to better understand a perspective we don’t come to naturally.

LISTENING or crafting a RESPONSE?

One cue to your bias is crafting a response while someone is talking to you.  Instead of intently listening, you’re thinking of your response.  Even if you disagree with the thesis of what someone is saying, there is tremendous value in listening to better understand how or why they came to it.  If you’re a fan of intellectual honesty, occasionally that deeper understanding might cause you to shift your viewpoint.  Thus, your now fresh perception shifts the reality for you in that space.

“PROFESSOR”

1.     Are you credible?

2.     Are you checking in?

Are you CREDIBLE?

Important to distinguish articulating points versus having earned credibility.  There are times when earned credibility is not feasible.  For example, managing a space that has technical aspects outside your area of expertise.  In these instances, working to incorporate respective subject matter experts into your line of communication helps build your credibility.  Don’t attempt to be a know-it-all.  To the contrary, pretending to be so damages your overall credibility moving forward. In fact, admitting you do not know it all and deferring to other experts builds your credibility.

Speaking of moving forward, your credibility is earned with consistency in how you communicate, not how much you know.  The recipe here is not complex.  Recommend you do these three things on a consistent basis to earn credibility.

1.     Do your homework

2.     Maintain your integrity

3.     Be humble

Are you CHECKING-IN?

Even if you understand your space and have earned credibility with your audience, understanding the content can still get missed.  You’re rattling off your points, while seeing those vertical head-nods of approval.  All the body language in the room suggests professor and student are on the same page.  However, the pop-quiz shows most of class failed.  What gives?  It could be several reasons, but one way to combat this is checking-in periodically with your audience.  Ask some basic questions to ensure they’re with you.

Conclusion

Whether you’re a leader, manager, assistant, teammate, or whoever, it’s important to appreciate that people respond to their perception.  While reality is factual, it is not the animating dynamic that causes people to act.

Authored By: Adam Weiner, Director